Twisted Up

Over the last few weeks, I feel like I've been 100% confused with just about everything about my life!!! I know the causes, mainly selfishness and laziness-kinda like most people I guess. I have felt disconnected from my friends, lonely, bored, tied down to my schedule, and overall just depressed! But our Father knows just when to say, "HEY YOU, OVER HERE!" My pastor said a phrase that really cut deep today, "...don't allow your soul to shrink!". Wow, that is exactly what the enemy has been able to do to me over the last month. It is so sickening to realize that I have allowed my life to become so much about me that I almost completely took the best part of me away---I have done just what Rick said--and that makes me so sad...
This is my situation, my mini-testimony of how sly evil can be: I have recently taken an opportunity to minister to someone close to me and turned it into an inconvenience. So selfish of me, and heartbreaking to know what I have allowed to happen because I didn't have time to get into the Word. Opening my Bible to any book would have reminded me of the graciousness that Jesus showed to all who crossed his path, regardless of the time it may have taken away from his journey. All the thoughts of how my schedule has been rearranged by offering to help would have been replaced by happiness and peace in knowing that I was following in His footsteps of helping those in need. This inconvenience to me has been so much harder on my friend; for she would give anything to be where I am right now. I watch her child because she was forced to go back to work in order to provide insurance for her family. This is exactly why I wanted to watch her little one in the first place, to ease her anxiety about putting him in daycare, and to help with expenses on her end. This is my blessing, and should be my Christian duty to help my community, but instead I have allowed the enemy to warp my thinking. Rick's simple phrase today, God's words through him, spoke volumes to me...and I plan on doing alot of praying and reconciling--I value my closeness to my Gracious Savior far too much to spend another minute in my sin!
Psalm 25 speaks of humility, and past sins, and the unwaivering love Christ has for all of us. We all have little sin in our lives, and we will always struggle with them-but we can not afford to let them take over. Without Him, we can so easily fall into our old traps...our time in His word contains all the truth we need to be redeemed!!!
V. 15-22
My eyes are ever on the Lord, only he can release my feet from the snare.
Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish.
Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away my sins.
See how my enemies have increased and how fiercely they hate me!
Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in You.
May integrity and uprightness protect me, for my hope is in You.
Redeem Israel, O God, from all their troubles!